Man Crates Brings Back Gone Fishing

It seems these days that less and less do you hear of men going fishing. Hell, it was a classic joke, “a bad day fishing beats a good day at work.” But why?

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Did fishing become somehow less appealing? Were fathers not passing it on to their sons? I don’t know why, but I just can’t shake the feeling like I’m one of the last anglers out there. Is this how the last of the mohicans felt?

And I am sure if you fish I’m sure you feel the same way. If you don’t fish, allow me regale you with all of the reasons you should at least give fishing a chance.

Clear your head. Seriously, when was the last day you actually relaxed? I don’t mean relaxed like, browsed Reddit, checked emails, or watched Game of Thrones. I mean a full day in which you make “just kickin’ it” a priority. 

Well that’s what fishing is for, my friend. You find a comfortable spot to sit or stand, you get your rod set, and get to it. I myself am a fly fisherman (a superior breed to be sure), so my fishing experiences are peaceful and melodic. Find a great spot, pull out some line, and cast. Rinse and repeat. And catching a fish beats yard work, if you ask me.

But I’m also a fan of ice fishing. Cut a hole in the ice, bait your hooks, and just drink beer until the sun goes down. Hey, you might even catch dinner while you’re at it. Most likely you will just be cold, but the sweet gear you can use and the tales you will tell make it worth it!

If you don’t fish, now’s a great time to wrangle up some of your bros, scare up some nightcrawlers, and head to the nearest body of water. Why not get matching Gone Fishin’ Crates while you’re at it? And definitely don’t forget the beer. Because that trout koozie will just look ridiculous.

 

Why Men Love Bacon

This is about bacon. 

It’s no secret that men love bacon. You’d have to be living under a rock not to notice that an entire freaking bacon industry emerged almost overnight. But the real question that no one is asking is why men love bacon so damned much. Perhaps it’s because that question seems to answer itself. More likely, it’s because everyone’s too damn busy eating bacon to ask why they’re eating it.

credit: xkcd.com

But we reached out to our old friends from the National Bacon Institute of Bacon Research and Development for their input on exactly why men love bacon more than any other earthly substance.

“It’s pretty easy to trace a love of bacon to early man’s evolutionary needs,” explained Bacon Doctor Arnold Henderson, “I mean, men in the Stone Age required delicious food just as much as any modern-day man. Seriously, can you imagine living without TV and bacon? I shudder at the thought.”

mmmmm.... bacon
mmmmm…. bacon

“For our research, we eat hundreds of pounds of bacon a month,” said Greg Stevenson from the warm seat of his Jazzy. “We may have not revealed all of bacon’s secrets, but we’re getting closer.”

Henderson and Stevenson are famous for their innovative and brave research into the long-term effects of cooking with bacon grease on general male happiness. Their paper entitled, “How a Jar of Bacon Grease in a Fridge Can Feasibly Replace Anti-Depressants” nearly bankrupted three major pharmaceutical companies.

So what does the future hold for the future of bacon research?

“We’re making giant strides toward mapping the entire bacon genome. It’s been an ongoing process bringing in bacon experts worldwide.” Henderson explained.

His partner elaborated, “as a layman it may not make much sense to sink more into bacon research than we do into NASA, but trust me, the payoff is coming. Understanding just why men love bacon so much is integral to our ultimate goal as a species. Making more delicious bacon.”

Get your fill

 

 

Bachelor Recipes – Ramen Pad Thai

Probably the hardest part about being single and living alone is remembering that you are actually responsible for feeding yourself. Whether it’s forgetting to eat or forgetting to buy groceries, single dudes have it rough. So whenever I run across a great recipe online that doesn’t require excessive shopping/prepping/ cooking/cleaning, I get pretty excited.

Cooking for One- don't mind if I do
Cooking for One- don’t mind if I do

The other day I hit the jackpot. Reddit user IronRectangle shared his version of the poor man’s Pad Thai. I of course tried it first and it may be the greatest inexpensive and quick meal since the McDouble.

The ingredients are simple and cheap. Top Ramen, peanut butter, Sriracha, and three eggs. I picked up a box of 24 packets of ramen for under $5 at my local grocery store and the peanut butter and Sriracha will last ages. As for the eggs, if you buy them in a 6-pack you’ll definitely eat them before they expire.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Boil 2 cups of water
  2. Add the Top Ramen packet. Toss the seasoning, that stuff sucks
  3. Set timer to 3:33 for the noodles because you don’t have time for more than one button.
  4. When the timer goes off, leave the heat on high.
  5. Crack 3 eggs directly into the water, one at a time, stirring them into the noodles.
  6. Finish cooking until eggs look done (1-2 min. max)
  7. Unless you’re a communist who likes soupy ramen, drain the water
  8. Add a large dollop of peanut butter and let it melt on the noodles for a minute.
  9. Mix in peanut butter, and then begin to add Sriracha to taste.

Pad_Thai

You did it! For probably under $.50 you just made a pretty substantial AND relatively nutritious meal! I’ve made it about a dozen times now and I can do the whole process in under five minutes. Even better, total cleanup is a pot, a bowl, and a spoon.

Have a Bachelor Recipe of your own? Share it with us in the comments below!

Men with Moxie – Not Just a Crappy Soda Anymore

Pluck. Spunk. Grit. Cheek. Moxie.

Some men have it; some men don’t. Others–a rare few–have moxie by the truckload.  But most men just don’t know what it is.

mox·ie noun Slang.

1.vigor; verve; pep.
2.courage and aggressiveness; nerve.
3.skill; know-how.

Now you know what it means, but the best part is where it came from. Back in the late 1800s, when other soft drinks were experimenting with cocaine and rampant patent infringement, one drink stood alone. Moxie Nerve Food couldn’t worry itself with petty scrabbles over delicious sodas. Because they were proudly and unknowingly making the most repulsive soda known to man.

Adding soda water to his snake oil solution, “Doctor” Augistin Thompson proclaimed his beverage increased vigor and pep. The general populace responded with a common joke that one would need vigor and pep to drink the stuff. Oh, memes back in the day were so biting.

moxie

What did it taste like? Well considering I can actually use a computer, you can guess I’m not old enough to have tried it. But from what I’ve pieced together from the geezers I talked to, it tasted like sarsaparilla mixed with brake fluid. (For the truly curious, why not try a good taste of the past?)

And yet there were some chaps out there who thought Moxie was the bees knees. And it is to them we tip our hats today.

We tip our hats to the men who hoisted up their knickers, loaded their rifles, and brought us back-to-back wins in world wars. The men who ate their lunch on skyscraper beams because apparently the fear of heights hadn’t been invented yet.

We’ll be bringing you weekly stories about these men, the men who built our great cities and killed a whole bunch of buffalo. Because those men had moxie, and maybe some of it will rub off on you.

How It’s Made: Jerky

If men are preparing any food, the best bet is that we’re cooking meat over an open flame. Because that’s how it should be done. But there is another process another process for preparing meat–drying–produces equally delicious results, even if no one gets to fire up their grill. This is Jerky.

By definition, Jerky is lean meat  trimmed of fat, cut into strips, and then dried– to prevent spoilage. Meat forever. Delicious. All Day.

But don’t be fooled, making it can be as complicated as brewing beer or as simple asgrilling a steak. At its core, the process consists of three steps:

  1. Find some lean meat (because fat doesn’t dry and will go rancid)
  2. Add salt, salt, and more salt. Oh and a dash of salt. 
  3. Dry .

However, this seemingly simple process allows for unique complexities at every stage. Some jerky makers prefer to use a less-lean meat for moister jerky, while others will basically dry pure muscle.

The second stage is where most jerky gains its flavor–jerky dryers will add in anything from sugars and spices to beer and chili peppers. This stage is where science, ingenuity, and a good nose come into play, moving jerky from just a salted meat into the realm of a delicious marinated steak. The chemistry and basics behind this process is trial and error and eventually you will uncover your flavor.

Even the drying stage allows for a great variety. Home jerky makers are certainly familiar with a basic food dehydrator, which can produce a quick and easy jerky. However, larger operations tend to use massive drying ovens. Another more traditional method–smoking–preserves it’s flavor best, but is also much more difficult.

No matter how you cut it, we can all agree that jerky deserves a top spot in the hierarchy of manly foods.

If you need inspiration for your Jerky, check out the Slaughterhouse crate… over a pound of the best jerky around. Guaranteed. http://www.mancrates.com/jerkygrams

 

The Secret Subway Menu: Tips To Make The Most Out Of Your Footlongs

Subway sandwiches are an American institution. With more than 38,000 locations worldwide, it’s not hard for a guy to satisfy his craving for a “footlong” whenever such desire hits.

But if you’re like me and love Subway because it is just the right balance of healthy, affordable, and convenient that fulfills a man’s dinner needs, you might find yourself getting bored with the chain’s standard menu offerings, falling into the rut of always getting the same sandwich, on the same bread, with the same toppings. If that’s the case, let me share some tips for how you can “hack Subway” and rediscover your love for eating fresh, all over again.

1) The Secret Menu

Ok. Subway’s secret menu isn’t as robust as the famed secret menu at In-N-Out burger, but there are some items on Subway’s menu that aren’t posted above the cash register that your sandwich artist will happily make for you if you ask. The most popular of these items is likely the pizza sub, an item that actually recently was featured by Subway as a monthly “$5 Foot-long” but is not on the menu in many locations. The pizza sub combines pepperoni, marinara sauce, and your choice of cheese to give the closest replication to pizza you’ll get at Subway without actually ordering one of their pizzas. A Business Insider blurb about secret menu options at various restaurants suggests that Subway’s pizza sub was removed from the regular menu as part of Subway’s effort to market itself as a healthy initiative. To me, that just sounds like Subway is trying to deprive us of flavor.

2) Get Your Sub Toasted, But Do It With The Veggies Too

When you step up to order at Subway, the sandwich artist will ask you what you want, then ask if you want cheese, and finalize his or her inquiry by asking if you want it toasted. When Subway originally introduced toasted subs to its restaurants several years ago, the chain marketed it as doubling the number of options customers had for sandwiches. With this tip, your options are far more than doubled.

Instead of simply getting your meat, cheese, and bread toasted, ask the sandwich artist to place some veggies on the sandwich as well. Sure, certain veggies like lettuce and spinach don’t toast well, but if you’re a fan of peppers (green, banana, or jalapeño) and onions, ask for these items to be added to the sandwich. It’s also a good idea to have a little oil added before toasting so that the natural juices that will be heated off your veggies can have a vehicle to be distributed through the sandwich. Once you get your sandwich with veggies out of the oven, you can then add spinach and/or lettuce, dressings, and any other accoutrements that personalize your hoagie your way.

3) Skinny Up That Bread

Now I know that men don’t always want to be looking over their shoulder at calorie counts, but if you’re looking to slim up a sandwich a little bit, this tip will go a long way: When ordering your bread, ask the sandwich artist to scoop all the fluffy part out of the inside of the bread, leaving just the crust on the outsides of the roll.

This suggestion was given to me by a friend after I ordered a sandwich on flatbread (flatbread, incidentally, is worth a try if you are a traditionalist who has always ordered your sandwiches on a regular roll). My friend told me that I could ask for a regular bun, but have the insides scooped out, and it would be the equivalent of a wheat version of flatbread. Making this request was a revelation, and it’s rare that I order with straight flatbread anymore.

With these three tips, you should be able to shake up your Subway experience for the foreseeable future, keeping your menu options as fresh as restaurants’ ubiquitous tagline.