Classiest Drinks for Guys – Avoiding the Umbrella

No one can simply tell you what the “classiest drinks” are, because that’s the wrong way to look at it. It’s not always about what you drink, it’s about how you drink.

Now Here is a Dapper Bro
Now Here is a Dapper Bro


Step 1 – Learn the terms

Sometimes the classiest thing is just knowing what the hell you’re talking about.

Here are a few must-know terms to ordering a drink like a man.

  • Back – a small glass of something like water or soda that will be served with your drink
  • Dirty – when a martini is served with olive juice
  • Dry – another martini term for a martini with very little vermouth
  • Neat – a drink served without any ice or garnish; essentially a shot (some people also use the term “straight up” but those people have seen too many movies)
  • Well – an unidentified bottom shelf liquor you get when you don’t specify your liquor in a cocktail

So now you’re well on your way to not embarrassing yourself the second you open your mouth, but that next second can be tricky.

Step 2 – Know your liquor

Unless you’re a complete lush, you have a favorite booze. Unlike with your kids, you get to pick favorites here. Just don’t pick rum. Like ever. Unless you’re a pirate and then it’s okay.

The rum is always gone for you. Because you ain’t Captain Jack Sparrow.

Once you’ve pinned down the best poison for you, you need to learn more about it. And the best way to do this is, well, by drinking A LOT of it. If you like gin, make sure to order a different gin at the bar every time. Even if it’s in tonic water, you’ll start to pick up on subtle differences. You may not be the smartest guy at the bar, but you will know a hell of a lot about gin, which is better than nothing.

Step 3 – Tip your barman

Sure you’ve got the terms down, and you even know a thing or two about your drink of choice. But classy drinking goes well beyond that. Know your limits. A buzz is one thing, but drunkenness is not a good color on anyone. Just ask any of these beautiful people who had one too many.

 Also, just don’t be weird. Don’t call your bartender by his name unless you know him. And definitely don’t call him “barkeep.” Finally, make sure to tip the man/lady. I usually just do $1 a drink, but if you order something fancy, toss in an extra buck. Because if you take care of your bartender, he’s sure to take care of you.

Have something to say about the classiest drinks for men? Do share @mancrates

Scotch Pairings for Everything

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As Ron Burgundy wisely stated, Scotch is the most delicious beverage on earth. It is the nectar of the gods of which ancient Greeks spoke. It is the dew running softly down a blade of grass. It is a thousand years’ worth of laughter and happiness–aged in oak barrels for at least three years–bottled and served in a tumbler. With ice. Without ice. Or perhaps rocks? No matter how it is served, the pairings are a key component to enjoying your Scotch Whisky.

But if you’re like me, you’re always struggling to find new things to pair with your scotch. Here are a few things I’ve paired with scotch over the last few weeks:

  • Stalking an ex on Facebook. Oh just look at Chelsea thinks she’s so cool with her successful new fiance well I bet he isn’t drinking a fifteen-year Dalwhinnie right now. 
  • Suit shopping. Nothing demands good service more than refusing to remove a tumbler of whisky from your hand while some guy tries to tailor your sleeves.
  • Watching later Adam Sandler movies. What? It’s not like drinking scotch is going to make them any worse.
  • Soccer. No, not playing soccer you dolt–watching soccer. Sure, it’s all well and good to drink beer at a baseball game, but if I want to enjoy a few fingers of my favorite single malt at my nephew’s soccer game, all the sudden I’m a “deviant” who needs to “dial it back.” 
  • Smoking a cigar. Great. Now I smell just like my weird Uncle Chet.

Remember gents, it may be “too early” to drink scotch, but it’s never too early to start thinking about it. If you aren’t drinking it (stuck at work?), you’d better start thinking about it. Your pairings have got to be better than mine. Tweet us your favorite scotch pairings @mancrates