Oh, just Man Crates here, trying to keep you out of the dog house. Seriously though, what are you doing, you silly man/noob? Go out and buy a Mother’s Day gift!
No? Just gonna keep reading then, eh?
Oh c’mon. Mother’s Day is coming up. Like SUPER soon. May 12th. And you and I both know you’re going to wait until the last minute and then just buy something stupid at a 24-hour pharmacy. Oh, and then, you’re going to find the perfect gift online, but it’s going to be way too late, unless you want to spend like a million dollars on shipping.
But you’re still here, reading a blog post instead of buying a Mother’s Day gift. So here’s my surefire way to find a great gift for your mom.
- Make sure you didn’t already buy her a gift. Ha ha who am I kidding even Voldemort never planned that far ahead.
- Figure out what your mom likes. If you don’t buy her a good gift, you can probably cross yourself off that list.
- Check your finances. Oooo…probably shouldn’t have splurged on those concert tickets. Oh well, that $13 in your wallet helps narrow down gift options.
- Google “mother’s day gift ideas” (we did it for you). Realize all of those results are useless.
- Call your Dad.
- Buy whatever he says to buy.
- Buy her something.
But wait! Are you “dad”? Don’t worry, I’ve got tips for you too.
- Don’t stress out! You can potentially get away with flowers and a card. Lucky! (But seriously, don’t try to pull that crap on her birthday. You’ll probably get thrown down the stairs.)
- When the kids call, just advise them to buy things you’ve been neglecting to buy your wife since Christmas. Like a new step ladder so she’ll stop bugging you to change the lightbulbs.
- Drink a beer; you are a passable adult.