Awesome New Gift Crates for 2013

One of the best parts of this job is working with our customers and the Man Crates Brain Trust to design new crates.  The internet connects you with all kinds of people, some who have awesome ideas.  Here’s a few of the crates queued up for release in 2013:

Tactical Dad Bag

The best diaper bag a man can get caught carrying.  Literally camouflaged, no one will be able to tell this bag contains a baby operator manual, earplugs, powders, wipes and other infant accouterments.  Ships with the Man Crates fist & crowbar onesie or beanie so you can start training your brood in the essentials of manly living right from the get-go.

The Golfer’s Crate

If there was one thing the people demanded to be heard on in 2012, it was the golfer crate.  No pros ourselves, we’ve been sneaking into private country clubs using plaid and British accents to observe the golfer in his natural habitat.  Several high-speed golf cart chases and many hours on the driving range and community course later, we’re close to announcing the perfect line up of golf essentials for the man that can wield both a crowbar and a 9-iron.

Hot & Spicy Crate

This crate was briefly spotted in early 2012, and a few were ordered.  It was unsuccessful.  We’d delivered a 3-Mile-Island level of spice, a complete failure.  We’ve scoured the earth and HotSauce.com for the most concentrated, lethal dose of Scoville rated pepper sauces, jerky and snacks that we could find.  Hot & Spicy Crate version 2.0 will be like Chernobyl on your gums, like a shock & awe campaign for your tongue, and a seven year plague on your throat and GI tract.  We’re still working with our insurance company to make sure we’re covered sending these, and some items may be considered weaponized liquids ineligible for export.

We’ve got our work cut out for us.  We love hearing when we got things right and when there’s an item that would be perfect in our crates.  So long as your suggestion is not one of the following ALREADY REJECTED ideas leave a comment and let us know what else we should be working on.

Crates which will never be made:

  • The Live Wolverine Crate – this chapter of Man Crates is closed.
  • The Bacon Haters Crate – Please stop emailing us, Cindy.  You’re a hostile vegan and we can’t help you.
  • Get Off My Lawn Crate – functional, but we’re not ready
  • Ninja Repellent Crate
  • Pet Sympathy Crate
  • Dancer’s Man Crate
  • Anything involving spiders

Happy new year and hope 2013 has lots of awesome gifts in store!

Field Report: The Retro Gamer Crate

Play Testing the Atari 10 in 1

People often ask “How do you guys choose which things go into each Man Crate?”

I’d be lying if I said we had a scientific process- it’s more like a third-world parliamentary session where fisticuffs and blackmail are on even footing with polite debate and rational reasoning.  We’re opinionated and stubborn, and we don’t always agree on what will make the most awesome crate.    However in the case of the Retro Gamer crate, Jon and I play-tested the Atari 10-in-1 set against two competing retro-gaming systems on the market and hours later, with calloused thumbs and reddened eyes, we both knew that this was the set for us.

Atari 10-in-1 Review

On any album there are some singles and some filler tracks.  The 10-in-1 is no different.  Some of these games provide interesting anthropological  insights into the origin and evolution of video games rather than enjoyable replay-ability (Adventure, Realsports Volleyball.)  The best games stand the test of time, and casual and serious gamers alike will enjoy the top 3 titles below.

1. Missile Command

Missile Command Screenshot

Sam (high score: 52,465): Obviously we skipped the instructions and started playing all the games immediately.  This game was my early favorite because it’s an easy concept to grasp and the controls are intuitive.  The bad guys are attacking America with missiles and UFOs, you’re the fearless commander of the STAR-WARS defense shield responsible for shooting down all the incoming ordnance.

Jon (high score:19,380): The game gets hard pretty fast, the key to staying alive is naming your six cities. San Francisco.  Houston.  Chicago.  Washington.  New York.  Boston. It makes the mistakes real.  You just lost the Giants and the Smithsonian.  Nut up and aim better.  Enforcing drinking penalties also takes this game up a notch.

Continue reading Field Report: The Retro Gamer Crate